Home

Fuck, I don't remember ever being this homesick. I want to be home so badly. I want my mom, my dad, my brother. My bed, my couch. Classes seem to be a world away. I feel like crying, but not enough to actually cry. Maybe it's because I feel so sick? I think there's something really wrong with me. I'm worried this will happen again. I'm worried they won't find anything. I hope going to the school doctor will help. I really, really hope so. I want to be healthy and happy again.

I want to be home.
I just want to be home.

About me

Here is the "About Me" I was thinking about putting on Facebook before I chickened out:

Hi! I have the coolest friends. They make me cool by proxy! I love traveling and languages, but I also love home. Procrastination is the bane of my existence; I'm not proud of it at all. I never want to be shy. I like anime and manga a lot but I'm not confident enough to admit it to most people. I think I'm kind of smart. I need to be healthier.

Lack of skills

I wish I were a normal person for whom driving is an unnoticed part of everyday life, like setting alarms or buying groceries.

This sucks.

Last week, Friday

I was in the car, hanging out with Mom, waiting for my brother, looking at her huge thing of keys, looking at the red Thailand keychain shaped like a star and containing some small shells. I knew her sister, my aunt, had been to Thailand. I asked Mom, "who gave you this?" She said it was my 嫲嫲, my paternal grandmother. I never imagined her going to Thailand. She went by herself, with a tour group. Back in the days, it was difficult for Chinese citizens to travel out of the country, and when they did, it was only to nearby countries.

Still, it was Thailand. My grandma had decided to go to Thailand.

(Was she somewhat like me?)

That day I found out that my grandmother had been to Thailand and it made me sad.

ほら見てごらん

AceSaboLuffy

I can't get them out of my head.

We looked at each other, silent

Yesterday I went to a lights festival with a friend, and there was a very small fair food sort of area nearby. I bought a huge bag of caramel kettle corn (it was the smallest size--queen!) and shared it with my friend.

Well, we were eating it, and I dropped one--it landed on the ground between us.

A very normal guy, said something like "aww yeah," and leaned down on the ground, flat, all the way, as if he were to do a pushup. And picked the kettle corn up with his mouth. He ate it and walked casually away.

So this is what it's like

Last installment in my short crush saga.

He's gay.

So it goes.

Back to ordinary life, I suppose.